Step Two: Counter Rejecting Your Ex Boyfriend To Make Him Want You

So far, you've already done a form of counter-rejection. You've agreed with the breakup, which pretty much means you've just told your boyfriend:

Counter-Reject Your Ex

"Hey, you know what? I don't really want to date you either."

So now trust me again when I tell you this: just saying that will drive your ex absolutely CRAZY.

But why? Wasn't he the one who broke up with you?

Why should your exboyfriend care that you're rejecting him at all? Didn't he just get done telling you how incompatible you were, or how things just "were'nt working out" between the two of you?

Well, yes and no.

Remember how I told you your boyfriend looked for any old excuse to get away after ending the relationship? Well that's when he thought you still wanted him.

That's when he thought you still loved him, still needed him, and he was in complete and total control of what happened next.

But now that you've agreed with his decision? Well, now he's not so sure anymore.

Casting Doubt Into Your Ex's Mind - Making Him Question the Breakup

Guys, like girls, love to be right. They want to think they're always doing what's best for them, and that every decision they make is to better their own situation.

When your ex broke up with you, it was because he was no longer attracted to you. It could've been physical, sure, but it's much more likely he wasn't as emotionally invested in the relationship as he was in the beginning.

So when you argue with him against breaking up? When you try to keep him, or chase him, or throw yourself at his feet? One thing goes through his mind, and this is true for all men:

"Wow, just look at her. She needs me a LOT more than I need her."

Neediness is always unattractive, which is why you MUST avoid it no matter what. Being needy gives your boyfriend the confidence necessary to make the breakup permanent. It tells him "yeah, you're totally doing the right thing."

There are actually 12 huge mistakes you can make during the process of getting him back, and being needy is just one of them. Learn them all, because if you're making three or more it's going to be nearly impossible to get your boyfriend's attention again.

Now, let's look at the reverse of that situation. He breaks up with you, and you walk away. You don't cry, you don't beg, you don't even try to talk him out of it. In fact, you even AGREE with him that the relationship wasn't working, and that it's totally over.

When all this happens? Your boyfriend instantly doubts himself. He starts worrying that maybe his judgement sucks, and that maybe he didn't do the right thing. After all, you're ready to walk. And if that's the case, you MUST not need him as much as he suddenly needs you.

Ignoring Your Ex - Shifting The Balance of Power Back in Your Favor

By far, one of the best ways to counter-reject someone who dumped you is to completely ignore them. This means not only walking away from the breakup after having agreed with it, but also not contacting or communicating with your boyfriend at all.

Stay Away From Ex

This, of course, is hard to do. And it's the also the number one reason why many people fail to fix an unwanted breakup: staying away is HARD. Especially when you feel like the longer you go without talking to your exboyfriend, or seeing him, the quicker he'll be likely to forget all about you.

What's not so obvious is this:

Just the opposite is true.

The more he hears from you? The LESS he's actually going to think about you at all.

When you're still 'around' after the breakup, your ex continues to take you for granted. You become invisible to him. And in a very short time, you actually become more of a nuisance.

You'll think you're being "friendly" and that he "wants you to keep in touch", but in reality your ex boyfriend is amused or even annoyed by all the times you've reached out to him. What you think is simple, innocent "let's be friends" contact is nothing more than wishful thinking. You're chasing him without even realizing it.

So now picture this: you agreed with breaking up, and counter-rejected your ex by walking away. And then... you disappear totally and completely from his radar.

Imagine your ex boyfriend glancing back to see what you're doing, and seeing NOTHING. Envision him sending you that stupid "I just wanted to make sure you're okay..." text, and not getting ANY response from you at all.

This is called going NO CONTACT. It's a term you'll hear a lot about, in researching breakups, and that's because it's quite possibly the most important move you can make right now.

NO CONTACT is unnerving to your boyfriend. It shatters his confidence. It makes him worry that you don't love him anymore, and that maybe - just maybe - you've found someone new.

From there, his minds starts to spin all kinds of wild things. He sees you with other people. Or maybe, you've been with some other guy all along. Maybe you were waiting for him to break up with you. Maybe it's what you even wanted in the first place.


Some guys will try to contact you multiple times at this point. They'll call or text or email, trying to figure out where you went. And the harder you go no contact? The more crazy they get. The more you disappear from his life, the more your ex will actually NEED to hear from you again.

There are a few other moves you can make that will accelerate the process, and these can be useful if your boyfriend is still unresponsive. But in most cases? A strict NO CONTACT policy will get some very quick, very positive results.

When you've employed these counter-rejection policies, it's time to move on:

Step 3:   The very best ways to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You.

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