Is it a Good Sign When Your Ex Wants to Stay Friends?

Getting dumped sucks so bad you're often looking for any way to get through it. Anything at all to dull the pain, to make things easier on you for the next few days and weeks.

Exboyfriend Wants to Be Friends

For some people, that thing is HOPE. They cling to it like a liferaft, looking for any small sign their exboyfriend still has feelings for them, no matter how insignificant those signs may be.

Staying "friends" after the breakup is exactly that; a liferaft. A way of dulling the pain. Of letting yourself down easy, so that you can let go of your boyfriend in smaller, intermittant chunks. It hurts less this way. Or so you'd think.

Some guys will drop the "we can still be friends" line and not really mean it. They're just doing it as an escape hatch from the situation. They dumped you, and they want to leave, so they'll say just about anything to get the hell out of there and avoid the crying, begging, pleading, or the "we can still work this out" stuff.

But other guys? Well, their looking for something else.

These guys actually want to stay friends with you after the breakup, and the reasoning behind that is purely a selfish one: they still want to be able to change their mind.

The Sinister Side of Staying Friends With Your Ex

Let's be honest; you don't want to be his 'friend'. You want to be his girlfriend, and that's a whole different universe of feelings, emotions, and connections.

Admitting this, you have to know that by remaining friends with your ex boyfriend you're very likely to get hurt. Either he'll meet someone else (and destroy you), or you might even meet some other guy. In both cases, whatever 'friendship' you convinced yourselves that you had will disintegrate almost overnight. Because HIS new girlfriend won't want you anywhere near him... and YOUR new boyfriend isn't likely to be happy that you still talk to and communicate with your exboyfriend, even as "just friends".

Most girls believe staying friendly after breaking up is a good way to get back together again later on down the line. As if being in constant communication, maybe even seeing each other physically too, is a great way to keep fresh on your exboyfriend's mind. A way to stay in his life, and he in yours. A way of showing him what he's "missing" by not going out with you.

Unfortunately, nothing is further from the truth. The closer you stay with your ex, the further you get from his heart. This is because he never has to lose you. He never has to MISS you. And because of those things, you're always going to be nothing more than a friend.

Friendship is a crutch for him. Instead of being lonely, he still has you. Instead of facing a life without you, he can call or talk to you anytime he wants. This removes the need for you in his life. Rather than think about you, miss you, and regret letting you go... your ex goes on as if nothing really changed.

The Good News About Him Wanting to Stay Friends

Now it's not all bad news. Because first things first; if your ex suggested keeping in touch and really means it? It's because he's not 100% sure he doesn't want you in his life anymore.

Friends With Your Ex

This means he still has feelings. Emotional bonds, buried deep, and these are bonds that won't easily go away.

He might even still love you on a number of levels. And if this is the case, you'll know it in both subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

There will be multiple signs given off that your ex still needs you. You have to look for these signs, because they can tip you off as to the right timing of when to approach (or not approach) your ex boyfriend.

See, no one wants to be wrong. Especially your ex boyfriend. Right now he's looking for the freedom to pursue other options (and other girls), but he still wants the comfort and security of knowing you're still 'around' if he wants you. This isn't a good thing for you. It's good for HIM. Because your boyfriend gets the best of both worlds here, while you sit at home with the best of nothing.

As long as your ex feels safe in the knowledge he can get you back, he'll keep going with the breakup. Which is why being his 'buddy' or friend or companion is probably the worst possible thing you can do to win him back as a boyfriend again. Your friendship gives him strength. And while you grow more and more dependent on it, he'll grow more and more independent until he no longer needs you, or the friendship, at all.

That's when he'll cut you loose. Your phone will stop ringing. Your text-messages will go unanswered. He'll stop asking to hang out or see you, or maybe he'll just use you for sex if he happens to be in the mood that night. You'll feel less and less connected, and you'll go into panic mode as he starts slipping away. It's a bad situation that you need to make better if you really want to keep this guy in your life.

How To Get Your Boyfriend Back When He Just Wants to Be Friends

If your ex is trying to stay friends with you even after breaking up, you should be taking advantage of that fact. His request for friendship is leverage. A tool, if you will, you can use to make him need you even more than ever before.

Break Up Reversed EXBOYFRIEND

Remember; it's a good sign whenever he wants to be friends because it shows interest. And rather than roll with it, and do what he wants, what you need to do is show disinterest. By doing the opposite of what he expects, you set your ex on his back foot. You create distance, at a time when he still wants to stay close to you.

This might seem counter-productive to getting him back, but like everything else when it comes to breaking up, things are never what they seem. The same things that you believe will drive him away and make him forget about you are likely to draw your boyfriend back in and make him more interested in what you're doing.

Once your withdraw, you can add these nostalgia triggers to help accelerate the process of making your boyfriend miss you. There are also ways you can make him jealous, and if you do it right, these techniques can get him to come back in a matter of days (or hours!) rather than weeks or months.

Being friends with your ex is never the answer. It might seem good at first, but in the long run, staying friendly will always put you in a weaker position and make it harder to win him back.

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