Get Back With an Ex

Step Six: Your First Meeting After the Breakup

All of the prior steps have involved making your ex miss you, need you, and want to see you again. And here we are, finally ready to meet up with your ex for the first time since breaking up.

This is the reunion date, and if you don't see it as a "date" you're looking at it entirely wrong. No matter where you go or what you do, this is most certainly a date. And it's probably the most important date the two of you have ever had, with the exception of your first one.

The one mistake you don't want to make is calling it a "date" to your ex boyfriend. Refer to it in this way and you'll scare him quickly away, at a time when he may still be skittish about communicating with you.

Remember, you've demonstrated a certain indifference so far. You've agreed with breaking up, and you've stopped trying to get him back.

That said, you want this date to end magically. You want it to start off as light, fun, playful, innocent... and end up with old, magical feelings, renewed passion, and maybe even sex as well. You want it to all seem natural. As if falling back into each other's arms was the inevitable byproduct of the two of you getting together again, face to face.

How to Get Your Ex to Agree to See You

By this point you should've already had a few phone calls with your ex boyfriend, and they all should've gone well. Contact in the form of calling, texting, even Instagram or social media communication should all have gone positively, with your boyfriend and yourself both initiating that contact equally on both sides.

You don't want to corner him into seeing you. If it feels like you're still chasing him, you should probably back off for a while. But when he seems just as interested in talking to or hearing from you as you are from him? It's time to suggest a time and place to meet up and actually SEE each other again for coffee, dinner, a movie, or whatever it takes to get the two of you together.

Check out the nostalgia triggers found here for some great ideas on how to ask him out. Also included at that link are some great ways of getting HIM to make the first move, and set up the date himself.

The Reunion Date: Seeing Your Ex For the First Time

When seeing your boyfriend again, there's a certain way you want things to go. A vibe, if you will, that will keep the two of you in good spirits.

For one, you need things to be comfortable. This might be difficult right off the bat, because it's always awkward getting together after a breakup. But since he broke up with you, the awkwardness should mostly be on your end. Rather than dwell on it, let it go. Rather than it let grip you with the fear of rejection, try to relax and enjoy just seeing him again.

The more relaxed the atmosphere? The more comfortable you both will be. This will lead to openness, and in turn, nostalgia. In trying to get back together, nostalgia is your best friend. Your greatest ally is the fact that you share a past history together, and enough time has passed so that the bad memories should have faded, and the good memories should be shining brighter than ever in their wake.

During the reunion date, you should:

• SMILE. The more you smile, the more comfortable you'll make him and the happier you'll come off. Your ex's greatest fear right now is that you're bitter about the breakup, or that you want to somehow talk about it. Show him he's wrong on both counts.
• LAUGH. Remember that funny time something really funny happened? Bring it up. Making him laugh will loosen him up, lower his guard, and make him more receptive to having a good time with you.
• KEEP HIM TALKING. The more your ex talks the more you'll learn about where he is, emotionally and mentally. By the end of the date you should have a good idea of how 'into' you he still is. And how close you are to actually getting back together with him in some way.
• KEEP THE CONVERSATION LIGHT. This means no heavy dialogue, no deep conversations, and no matter what happens, no mention at all of the breakup (unless he brings it up first).
• PAY ATTENTION TO BODY LANGUAGE. If your ex still has feelings for you, he's going to show them during the date. It might not happen right away, but as the night wears on he might get more comfortable with you again. Watch for signs he's digging on you. There are also some not-so-obvious signs he still loves you, so be sure to look for those as well.
• FLIRT. LOTS, IF POSSIBLE. Again, you don't want to throw yourself at him or make it seem like you're too interested. Even so, your ultimate goal is to win him back, and this means you'll need to at least express an interest in that. If he leans in, lean back. If he cuddles up to you, slip an arm over his shoulder. Remember; you've already been intimate with this guy, probably dozens or even hundreds of times. There's nothing wrong with displaying an echo of that intimacy to help the process along.
• RETURN ANY ROMANTIC GESTURES. If he kisses you, kiss back. Don't pull away or ask him "what does this mean?" or anything stupid like that. If you do, you'll spoil the mood. This isn't a night to get answers. No one's guaranteeing anything. But if you have a great time with your ex, and make sure he has fun as well? There will be another date... and another after that.

Sex With Your Ex - Should You Do It?

Any time you meet up with your ex boyfriend there's the potential for a hookup. After all, you miss each other. You're still attracted to each other, and you've already had sex before. It would only seem natural to do it again, especially if the two of you were good at it.

A successful reunion date should be exciting, almost like a first date, but with none of the pressures of keeping up appearances. So if your date happens to end in the bedroom? Take it in stride. Roll with it if you're comfortable, and try to enjoy yourself for now.

Obviously don't do anything that's going to make you feel bad, but if your final goal is to get back with this person, you shouldn't use sex as an ultimate reward. It shouldn't be something you 'give out' like a prize, just because he calls you his girlfriend again.

Sex should be something enjoyed by you both. An act that takes place between two happy, balanced, consenting adults. It should happen as the natural escalation of being intimately comfortable around each other again, which will lead to a stronger, more emotional connection even after the sex is over.

Of course, just because you sleep with your ex boyfriend doesn't mean you're automatically "back" as a couple again. Be prepared for the possibility that the sex meant little to him, at least for right now. Again, try to gauge where he's at in regards to wanting a relationship with you again. You can get a pretty good idea of that during the course of your date, especially if it's successful enough that you start hooking up again.

Beyond the Reunion Date: What to Do Next

Rebuilding a damaged relationship takes time. Even when you do get back together with an ex boyfriend, everything isn't magically "fixed", and past problems - if not taken care of - can rear their ugly heads after only a few days or so.

Understand that when talking about the reasons for your breakup, you'll always want to be constructive. Placing blame or pointing fingers at your ex accomplishes nothing; in reality, it's only going to make him remember why he dumped you in the first place.

What you want to do, after you've been together again for a little while, is have a very positive, very open airing of your grievences. While he talks, you do NOTHING but listen. And while you talk, he does the same.

Try to realize you won't always see eye to eye on everything, and that's okay. Focus on the important stuff, and try to understand how each other feels. Do a lot of putting yourself in each other's "shoes" to get an idea of how things can be fixed, or at least, problems allievated.

What to Do if Your Ex Still Won't Get Back Together

In stubborn breakup situations, more help is needed. Sometimes a guy will be reluctant to commit again, for fear of falling back into the same old "stuff". He might even tell you he still loves you, but just isn't yet 'ready' to get back together.

This is where you need to think outside the box. It helps to have additional tools, as well as a more comprehensive, step-by-step plan for getting him back.

Brad Browning's Ex Factor Guide is a great tool for not only getting your ex to go back out with you, but for keeping him as well. It's a series of e-books, audio advice, and video guides you can use to up your game, and strengthen existing ties and emotional bonds between you and your exboyfriend.

Learn which traits might be accidentally driving a wedge between you and your boyfriend, without you even knowing it. Also find out how to rid your relationship of these problems, if you already have them.

Brad also teaches you which highly desirable behaviors men covet most, and why they look for these behaviors in a potential partner. If you can master these ideas you'll find yourself always attracting men wherever you go, regardless of how long you date your boyfriend, get married to him, etc...

Download The Ex Factor Guide HERE, and get started immediately on the road to fixing things between you and your ex. Waiting too long can damage your relationship, or even lose him for good.

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